May 11, 2014
A final adieu to my Mom
Two weeks ago on Sunday April 27th I flew to Edmonton where I joined my family at the University of Alberta to honor my Mom’s memory. After she died last July, her body was donated to the Anatomy Department. She was a teacher and she gave her body so that the teaching could continue, this time by medical students. I had no idea what to expect and I was overwhelmed with the two hour memorial.
It truly was a way to say goodbye.
The program...
The University has a common burial site where Mom's cremated remains are interred with other donors.
The site is marked by a single stone which bears the inscription shown here.
There were the usual remarks but one that stood out was by Bryan Frobb, Class of 2016 in Medicine. He explained how much it meant to the students to have the donated bodies to work on and with how much respect they were treated by the students. It brought tears to my eyes.
The short video above is just a minute of “Con te Partiro” ( TIme to say Goodbye ) performed by the Medical Students Orchestra. This is when my tears started to flow. Mom loved music and I remember listening to music in our home and most special of all was attending the symphony with Mom and Dad. We had seasons tickets. I never expected to hear music on this day. How special. Sadly Dad was unable to hear most of the ceremony. His hearing aid wasn’t working with the sound system. Hopefully this and other clips will work for him on the computer.
My Dad and some of our family. There might have been about 150 people there.
After more words by the Dean of Medicine we were treated to a song by the University’s Courtyard Choir. Mom loved to sing and she was a member of the Edmonton Opera Society. I remember, as a child going to dress rehearsals with her and being backstage with all the excitement. Then in a few days Dad, I and the other kids who were old enough would sit in the theatre and watch Mom on the stage. I know that that is where my love of theatre and music and singing come from. I can’t sing anywhere near as well as she did but I sure try. My tears continued to flow. I could not have planned a better memorial myself. “The Seal Lullaby” was introduced as a way to say goodbye.
Dr. Christine Webber, a Professor of Anatomy gave a wonderful talk. She spoke for quite a while and then she started to relate a personal story of a family member who had also donated their body to the program. She broke down and cried during her speech which is what I have an excerpt of here. Extremely moving…..
More comments from other students and another song. I was too moved to video it, I just wanted to be in the moment.
Mom's name along with 57 others was read aloud.
After the minute of silence for the donors, the bagpipes playing Amazing Grace were supposed to be played however the person could not be there. I think that would have been too much, I would have been sobbing. Next a prayer, the Responsive Prayer was said with those us in the audience responding with “We Remember them”. I had never heard this before and found it very comforting.
I have been rereading this a lot in the past week.
The Chaplain was a lovely person and her closing remarks were so special that I am including the entire video here. She started by saying that she was not going to use her prepared notes but rather speak from the heart, which she did. She was very honest about why she felt she could not donate her body to science and then why she changed her mind. She too came to tears.
The memorial ended with each family being presented by a long stemmed yellow rose. Mom’s flower. Birthdays, Mother’s Day, any occasion and often for no reason at all Dad would present Mom with a single yellow rose or a bouquet of them. When any of us see a yellow rose we think of Mom. I have the rose here which I am in the process of drying. It is the perfect momento of a very special afternoon spent saying adieu to my Mom. She will always be in my heart.
Later that night, while in my room at Dad's, Mom's cat, Angel came to spend some time with me.
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What a beautiful memorial service. I’m so happy that you were able to attend. You’re mother will always be with you – in your heart…
Thanks Cheryl, we had only been home from Mexico 8 days so the timing was perfect. Today is the first Mother’s Day that I haven’t seen or called her. A bit sad for me.
Oh, Contessa, what a moving memorial service. It brought tears to my eyes. We are so lucky to have had wonderful mothers. Now gotta think happy thoughts to take the sniffles away. (((Hugs)))!
Connie….I appreciate you reading this post and your constant support.
Marty…..absolutely. Shudder…..
Ena….what a lovely thing to share with me. Thanks my friend.
At Montana State University’s WWAMI program (pre-med school) they just unceremoniously give the remains back when they’re done with them. Yours is much nicer.
Over the years I have also thought of your parents whenever I see a yellow rose because of your comments about your mother’s love of yellow roses. How very fitting that that very flower was presented to you.
What a lovely tribute to your mother. She sounds like a special lady.
She was Rae and thank you for your comment.
What a wonderful ceremony! So glad you could attend. I’m sure it must have been comforting to all of the families (and the students!) to finally be together and celebrate these very special people! Yellow roses were my grandparents’ and I found dried yellow roses recently going through some of their things that my mom had kept. It instantly brought back memories of them!
It is nice Lynne to have something that will bring those memories back. Everyday we are creating tomorrows memories. I love my blog for just that purpose as I’m sure you do with your blog. A great way to remember the wheres and whens.
I am so far behind….trying to catch up. This is so very moving. I love the way you recorded this wonderful tribute, so it stays with you forever. I trust your Mom’s memory will remain strong in your heart.
Suzanne
Hola Suzanne,thanks for your comment. I only wish I had recorded all of the program but what I did is special indeed.