Aug 02, 2014
Que pasa
Where has July disappeared to? How can August be here already? Apart from my ongoing eye issue, July has been a blur of phone calls and research. I seem to spend at least five hours per day sorting things out for my Dad. My sister in Edmonton is hands on and I am the one making the calls and assessing things from here. I just hate getting the run around from one government agency after another. “Sorry that is not my department, try calling this number” and it goes on and on for hours. Then there are the calls to actual Assisted Living Homes that after leaving 4 messages they still don’t return my call not to mention that depending with who you speak to you get an entirely different answer. This has become my ‘job’ as Dad has become frailer and frailer. He went to the Glenrose Rehab Hospital mid May in order to learn new ways to help him be able to remain at home. He came home with very little energy or motivation. Prior to his five plus weeks there he was able to drive, grocery shop, cook, do laundry and go to medical appointments on his own. Since mid June he can’t and is too tired to even try. He doesn’t want to discuss much, always procrastinating. Well here we are six weeks later and is just seems to be getting worse. My sister, Lise, can barely get him in and out of the van as she drives him to appointments. He can’t get his shoes on by himself nor change his clothes without becoming exhausted. She is a teacher and goes back to school the third week of August, so who will care for him?
We arranged for an emergency meeting at his home with his Health Care case worker and a respiratory therapist just last Wednesday. I spoke to them at length from here. They also did an onsite assessment and determined that he has declined a level in the past 2 week. However it is believed that he can continue to stay in his home with extra home care for a while yet. The big thing was that he accepted the extra care and also agreed to do some tours of Assisted Living Homes and to actually put a deposit down on a few.
This was supposed to be my post for yesterday but life interfered. I wasn’t going to mention my Dad at length but it got away from me. I had planned to add some fun stuff. By the way I do try to keep up on all of your blogs, those of you who write them and try to leave the odd message. How I miss my daily routine!
When the phone rings just after 6 in the morning it is not usually a good thing. Dad had fallen. In trying to piece it all together it seems that he got up to go the the bathroom, feel asleep on the toilet and woke up disoriented. In rising he fell, hitting his head on some shelving. He was unconscious for over an hour, perhaps longer. No he did not have his ER call pendant around his neck and no he did not use his walker. We talk to him each and everyday about these very things. Somehow he managed to crawl through the bathroom to his bedside table where he reached up to the phone and called Lise. ” I fell and can’t get up.” It took her about 15- 20 minutes to get there and one look had her calling 911 for an ambulance. The bathroom floor was covered in coagulated blood, he was covered in it and his head was still bleeding. Why are the elderly so stubborn? Why did he not just push the pendant for help which was on the night table next to the phone?
He has been in Emergency for 9 hours now. The usual tests have been done and the good news is that his head & brain, despite having a dent in it ( just like when you get a dent in your car ) are alright. No internal bleeding. The bad news is that he has a heart problem which could have caused all of the symptoms that he has been experiencing since early June. He will eventually be admitted once they find a bed for him and hope that it will be in the cardiac unit. More research on my part shows that surgery won’t help his problem.
Do you have any idea how very frustrated I am? So many things that I have suggested over the past several months were not listened to. Sigh!!!!!!!! I’m just sitting here waiting for news from the hospital. Will I have to fly there in the next few days? Will we be able to even go to Mexico this winter? Right now I have lots of questions and no answers.
Sorry to just ramble but it simply came out……now to put a smile on your face and mine.
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God bless you, this is tough. A lot of people care about you two even if we’ve never met you.
Thanks Joan and welcome to the comment section of my blog. You brought tears to my eyes.
Sorry you are going through this sad time, it’s harder when you are not in the same city.
It seems like the solution is to get him him either in an assisted living or some other level of care , for everybody’s mental and physical health.
I know I am stating the obvious, but having been in your situation, I know how stressful it is and how hard it is.
Ahhh, Contessa, sending warm thoughts, love, and lots of (((hugs))) your way. We all do care about you and your family. Bless your daddy – sending prayers to everyone!
They make you tear your hair out at times! We looked after Norma’s dad for two years here in the house and it was the toughest job we ever had. A friend’s FIL fell and could not get back up. His wife could not lift him and he refused to let her call 911 because, “They will not let me come back home”. My friend was not due home for two days so he stayed on the floor for the two days with his wife bringing him food, water and blankets. Stubborn? Yes!
Hugs Contessa. Issues with declining parents are always really tough to deal with whether you are near or far. You feel helpless when you are far and worn to a frazzle when you are close by. If he is having heart problems perhaps he is not getting the normal level of oxygen which can easily affect the memory. Hang in there.
this is such a difficult time for your father… take care of yourself too… God Bless
So sorry for these difficult times. You and your family are in our prayers.
Hang in there, hoping for a positive outcome for you and your family.
We all know that life cycles but it is so difficult when it involves our own family.
Hi Contessa:
I am so sorry the hear that your Dad is haviving it so tough. He is lucky to have children like you and your sister, who care so much. I know what you are going though and it is a real challenge. Just know that you are in my prayers.
I will send you and email in the next few days to tell you all that has gone on with Greg and I since we were all together in Maz. All good, all exciting!
Hugs friend!
A difficult situation made even harder because of the distance. We’ve been through this with Al’s Mom, uncle & my Dad. It’s heart wrenching to see them struggle with leaving their long time homes and their knowledge they are not going back. I think ahead to how I would feel and can only hope I could accept it.
take care…..
These situations can sure wear you down in a hurry. Sounds very similar to the issues we are dealing with for both of our mothers, very frustrating for sure.
Good luck.
Stan’s mom was in the same predicament. Too proud and stubborn to use a cane or walker, even though we begged her, she finally fell and ended up in assisted living where she passed away. It’s so tough for the kids, and I found the medical people were way too willing to write her off. “Let’s make her comfortable until she dies,” instead of, “Let’s find something to make her want to keep going.” Glad they found you dad’s heart condition, maybe the fall was a blessing in disguise.
Good luck, it sounds like this is something that would be dealt with so much more easily by a trip to see him, especially at 5 hours a day of frustrating phone calls. Take care.
This is a very tough time, I know, I’ve been there with 2 family members. You are doing the best you can. God bless you and thanks for your blog, it is so very human.