Oct 25, 2014
Que Pasa
~ can you believe that gas in Edmonton is only 99 cents per litre. Kelowna is down to a low of 125.9.
~ Dad is no longer confused but depressed. He is upset that it is taking all of his energy to just keep breathing to keep alive. He is very frail and has no energy to eat never mind to walk or stay sitting up in a chair. He prefers to be in bed. I met with the unit dietician Thursday afternoon and we came up ( along with the suggestions of my sister Lise via phone ) with several new ideas of things to feed him that will encourage him to eat and not take quite so much energy to chew. I do see some improvement due to the IV and oral antibiotics. The coughing is down at least 50% and that has contributed to his demise, it takes a huge amount of energy to cough. He hasn’t walked anywhere but to the bathroom once or twice per day. He is definitely losing weight.
Remember, a few posts back when I told you that Dad had a new room mate and how close they were.Thank goodness I have connections and Dad is alone again. I have no idea how we would have got thru the last several days with another patient in the room.
This is how he was yesterday before I left. Just so tired with no energy.
~ we had 3 showings of his condo on Thursday, one for the third time but still no offer.
~ I had a lawyer come to the hospital Thursday evening for both Dad and I to sign some papers. This will make it easier for me to go forward with the sale of the condo even if Dad dies and/or I am in Mexico.
~ I am also in the process of filling out 45 pages of minute detail for the probate lawyer. This is going to take some time but if it is in place, it will allow us to head south for Mexico.
~ I arrived home here in Kelowna Friday evening. I specify here in Kelowna as home as I now tend to refer to home as the condo in Edmonton. I am living on Edmonton time and every thought is what is happening with Dad at that particular moment. Before I left I engaged everyone from the cleaning lady to the lady ( it is never a fella, wonder why ) who delivers the food trays to the health care aids to please, please help my father with his meals. He needs to be encouraged to eat. They are so sweet and while saying they will do all they can for Dad, they worry about me. Am I eating, can they do anything for me? The RN offered to work her breaks around me taking some time off so I could get a break. Last week week I “worked” several 12 hour and 10 hour shifts. They are so very caring. I actually have come to the conclusion that I would prefer that Dad stay with these caring folks rather then move to a new facility ( nursing home ) with new staff. Plus he has his own room, when he moves he will have to share, at least for the first 6 – 8 months. It is not likely that he will be with us that long. I asked the doctor to not sign the order to put Dad on the wait list for long term care. However I can’t control the future. It is tiring when I am there but how I miss not being there to supervise. Yah I know that I am controlling, but there is no way I was going to let that physio babe get Dad out of bed to walk on Friday morning. Sorry but I am in charge!! I do worry when I am not there. Sent the sibs a text ( I hate texting ) to get it together and it seems to be working, at least for the first 24 hours thus far.
~ I am going back to Edmonton in two weeks for another two weeks. In my heart I need those two weeks with Dad. They will be quality time, not time spent on business and his affairs, just fun time and reminiscing time. Depending on how the next fours weeks go, Colin and I are seriously considering leaving here about Nov. 27th. That would get us to the Isla about Dec. 10th or thereabouts. So I do plan to start getting ready this week to head south eventually and anything that I prepare won’t be wasted if we don’t leave. We are just going to take it one day at a time but I have ordered 70,000 pesos from the bank 🙂
~ yesterdays flight here was the worst ever in all my years of flying all over the world. It started with a body scan in ‘the machine’ which led to me having a very private and intimate and intimidating pat down with 2 female agents. I was mortified when it was over.
Fortunately I was later able to relax over a glass of vino while listening to some live music in front of a full living wall of greenery.
~ however the flight was so turbulent that during the refreshment service the flight attendants were ordered to “sit NOW” and so they did. I have never seen that before in all my years of flying. No photo as my camera was in the overhead bin and I certainly wasn’t going to stand up to get it. I have never ever seen flight attendants sitting on the floor in the middle of the aisle before, for at least 10 minutes.
~ so here I am back at home with so much work to do that I have no idea where to start. Last evening I took the night off and I had a long hot bath with a glass of wine and then had a nap with the girls. Colin finally woke me up to have some dinner and then it was back to bed. Today has been spent sitting at my desk. Sigh!!! It is cold here, I guess I missed fall.
~ I am so grateful to have a fully working computer and have started catching up on blogs that some of you write. Comments soon. Reply to emails as soon as I can. Adios for now, time to make some dinner at 8 PM.
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Trying times…
Both Shelagh and I have lost our parents, it’s a difficult time to go through the ending days of your parent’s life. The weeks and months after death are confusing and convoluted. However time heals all, it’s true, you will persevere.
Treat yourselves while you are together and enjoy each other’s company.
OK, I’ve been on a *few* flights (and not as many as Travelling Companion) but I’ve never experienced flight attendants sitting on the floor. They always had time enough to get to a jump seat and strap in. That’s real turbulence.
Keep your chin up with all that other stuff. It’s not easy. Lost my parents years ago. In each case it was somewhat sudden. Mom an anurism and was dead within a week. Dad ten years later, and he checked himself into the hospital with a host of complaints. One day he decided he’d had enough, and that was it. The nurses thought he was a little off when he announced he was ‘going to die’, but sure enough…
I’m not sure if watching the person slowly get worse is worse than the bad news that the person is dead. Either way, it’s a tough go.
You are so right Contessa, to cherish the time you are having with your Dad.
The permanence of their death is very sad.
Everytime I visited my Dad I knew it could be the last, and 4 years ago it was.
You do what you need to do and things will all work out in the long run.
Gee, here I thought the purpose of the full body scan was so that they wouldn’t have to do any full body pat downs.
It sounds like you have gotten everything as much on track as you can for your Dad. I hope your next visit is a more peaceful one with just spending some quality time together. It also sounds like you and your family have worked things out to be more harmonious. That will be important even after your Dad is gone. Hugs to you and peace.
Christmas time in Mexico must truly be awesome, *sigh*, I envy you on that! Get your ‘wagon’ ready to hit the road! Dang, the more I read your blog posts the more impressed I am in all you are doing, you are really staying on top of things and everything is apparently falling into place.
Don’t forget to tell your dad about all the prayers he’s getting from your blogger friends, he’s such a good dad. He’ll be happy to hear that you have real friends and even never before met blog readers who care about you, and him, too!
Rest easy while at home, those two fur babies missed their mom!
I agree, I hope your dad knows that thoughts and prayers are coming from far and wide; in my case, Nicaragua. I hope you enjoy your brief stay in Kelowna with Colin and the girls. Glad to hear Mexico is still on the itinerary.
I am glad your Dad is in such a caring place, but also glad they recognize “Care for the Caregiver” is equally important! Count your days, and make your days count. Before you know it, you will be in your happy place. You are in my thoughts…