Jul 11, 2013
Updates….
….I spent close to 5 hours at Emergency Monday, mostly waiting to see a Doctor and then another hour waiting for blood results. Shortly after the Home Care Nurse visit, my wound started bleeding bright blood and the lump returned and everything was hot and throbbing. So off to the ER about 4PM. By the time we got home at 9 PM the dogs were frantic and I was numb.
I was triaged into minor trauma.
The diagnosis was a huge hematoma but not sure how deep it goes. My blood work showed my hemoglobin had risen to 98 and I had no infection, yet. But I was still very weak. The ER Doctor made a call to the orthopod on call who suggested I see my surgeon within 48 hours. So I am off to the hospital shortly to check in at ambulatory care where I will sit and wait and wait to see Dr. Oliver between his surgeries today.
Very sadly I got a call last evening by my youngest sister that Mom has passed!!! I was fairly upset, naturally. My middle sister was there with her oldest son and Dad, the younger sister and her two girls and my brother arrived about 5 minutes after Mom had died. I was able to talk to almost everyone who was there in the room and later spoke with with my brother and Dad from their homes. Mom died peacefully with family at her side. My nephew says that just with her last breathe a single tear rolled down her face. Dad said that Mom looked beautiful in death. My brother claimed that he saw 3 rainbows in the sky just as he got to the the hospital.
Still I am upset, perhaps angry. Why was I not called as everyone headed to the hospital? Why was I only called after she had passed? I have been called every time these past 2 months when the family has been called to Mom’s bedside, except this past Monday night when they once again rushed to her bedside and of course last night. I have felt out of the loop these past few days so I called my Dad Tuesday ( it could have been Wednesday ) morning. He told he that things were about the same but that he had had a wonderful 2 hour conversation with her the day before. That made me feel so good. Then suddenly I get the phone call after….
Had I received a call ( one of my nieces or even the hospital could have called ) I would have been able to be there in the room with my Mom at the end by speaker phone. It sure would have meant a lot to me. Actually it would have helped a huge amount. So this is what is mulling around my head this morning.
…off to see my surgeon about my bleeding wound.
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My dear Contessa,
I’m so very sorry for your current surgery complications and more so at the passing of your mother. I’m sure that you weren’t called immediately because your family knew you were not feeling well.
You visited your mother before your surgery, and I know that you both realize the love you shared. Would it have really mattered if you were there on speakerphone?
My mother had Alzheimer’s and even though I have five brothers and a sister I was the primary caregiver. As her disease progressed I was emotionally and physically exhausted. I took a semester leave from teaching and didn’t tell my family that I was going to New Mexico. Before I left I visited my mother (who was virtually a vegetable) and told her that I loved her and that I needed a break.
When I returned I found out she had passed away. My sister was furious, but I knew if I told my location I would have been faced with responsibilities that my siblings would not share.
I have no regrets, and I know my mother if lucid would have understood.
Rest in the knowledge that your mother is now free of her earthly confines, and you’ll always have her in your heart.
Thinking of you,
Cheryl
So sorry to hear about the passing of your Mom, I certainly remember what that feels like especially when you aren’t close by. Our thoughts go out to you and your family at this sad time.
Kevin and Ruth
So very sorry about your Mom’s passing. Heart felt thought going out to you Contessa. Best wishs of healthy healing both physically and emotionally.
Hi Contessa, sorry to hear about your mother. I know Colin is there to give you lots of support. Sometimes family does wierd stuff. Similar stuff has happened to us. Good thing is, you recently got to see you your mom and say all the good things you wanted to share with her. Peace.
I agree with Cheryl, they probably were worried about your health. So sorry for your loss, and when you finally get to see your dad, give him a hug for me. Things seldom work out how we think they will, but you can rest assured she knew you loved her and you went out of your way to see her that last time. Hugs…..
OMG Contessa I am so so so very sorry to hear this….god bless you dear…please try and take it slow and easy…I’m having trouble posting on your blog…but thats ok I can still read..so sorry to hear about your mom…hoping you get good news from the surgeon..wish I lived closer…
xoxoxooxoxoxoxo
tons of prayers your way…
Sorry to hear of you Mom’s passing and too bad that you could not be there. But I do remember you said your goodbyes a short while ago.
Hope you get you problems all resloved soon.
What a difficult several days! So,sorry for your loss,
I am sure your family was only concerned with your welfare and felt you had enough on your plate.
Keep on the medical types and get better!
Sorry to hear about Mom’s passing, Contessa.
You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Hugs, Trent and Teresa
So sorry for your loss, thoughts and prayers with you.
Hi Contessa: my thoughts and prayer go up and out for you. I can only guess your family knew you were dealing with quite a bit with your surgery. More importantly your mom knew you were there with her in spirit. Be well and know you are loved!
Bless you heart you’ve been through so much lately. I am sorry to hear of your mother’s passing. I continue to hold you and yours in prayer.
May your heart know peace again soon.
Our thoughts, hearts, and prayers are with you and your family – love you, Contessa!
My heart goes out to you, my dear Contessa.
Now that your Momma is at peace it is time for you to put all that energy of yours into getting well again. Remember, motion is the best lotion and if you don’t use it you will lose it.
You are the offspring of a wonderful women. She is a Strong Angel in your corner now, make her proud.
So sorry to hear about your Mom’s passing,I am sure your family were worried about your well being.
I hope the problem with your hip is soon resolved and you can continue to heal..
I’m sorry to hear about your Mom, Contessa. It does sound as though she and your Dad were ready and I wouldn’t lament not being included. You had already said your goodbyes.
Now just concentrate on getting better!
Contessa….I’m sorry to hear that you have had some set-backs with your surgery but it looks like things may have been caught in time to take care of it easily. I’m also sorry to hear that you have also lost your mother. I can tell you that being there would not have been any easier especially being there through a phone call. You had a good visit with her and were able to say your goodbyes in person and it sounds like she went very peacefully surrounded by love. Now is not the time to be angry with the rest of your family. They were under stress and knew that you were not in the best shape either. My two brothers were not right there when my Dad passed slipped away and even my mother had just stepped away for a few minutes. Fortunately they all understood that I was too busy holding my Dad’s hand and telling him that we all loved him and it was okay for him to go rather than run and yell for them to come and never held it against me. Please pull together and remember the good times with your mother. You want to stay strong as a family to honor your mother.
Sincere condolences on the passing of your Mom. I have been following your blog over the last few weeks, and this evening, I learned of your Mom’s passing. I have let the other girls know as well, even though some of them have probably already learned this news through your blog. Ena probably knows, already.
It’s very difficult to lose your parents. It doesn’t matter how old you are, you do feel like an orphan when they pass on. There is a deep loneliness that comes with losing a parent. It is the passing of an era, and that always brings sadness, and the sense that things will never be the same.
It’s really too bad that this has happened when you are not feeling, well. I feel for both your pains- the physical and the emotional ones.
My thoughts and prayers have been with you through both these journeys that you have been going through, over the last few weeks, and you will continue to be prominent in my thoughts over the ensuing days. I will pray for your Mom, and you, as well as for the rest of your family, tonight.
All good thoughts, and loving prayers-
Denise
I’m so sorry to hear about the passing of your mother. For a daughter, losing one’s mother is the most difficult loss of all. I will keep you both in my prayers.
The obituary in The Edmonton Journal is a wonderful tribute to her accomplishments and life.