Oct 04, 2017
The season is fall and the memories are sad
We woke up to frost and -6C/21F this morning and this is only the beginning of October. I am beginning to wonder how I will survive until we leave on November 6th. I went out today to do an errand in sandals and my skort. Despite a fleece jacket I was chilled. I got my final pesos ordered from the bank. I also purchased veggies to make a really really good soup for dinner. We were both impressed. One bowl filled us, the protein was quinoa and beans. I am pretty sure that the 3/4 cup of wine made all the difference in the taste 😀
As we were working in the kitchen chopping, sauteing, etc., I thought about the girls. They were always underfoot when we cooked hoping for a piece of carrot or a fresh green bean. I find myself thinking of them almost constantly since autumn arrived. Once the cold began it was always a struggle to get them into their fleece coats. But once in them they pranced happily down the street.
I do get up from time to time in the night to use the bathroom. As we like fresh air one or two of our four bedrooms windows are open a crack or a few inches. In the past it was always great to get back into my side of the bed and have Caeli there to warm me. Carmeh was always plastered next to Colin. We miss them so much but for some reason this season seems to be the worst.
Fall mornings meant having the fireplace on high and seeing the girls get as close as they could to the heat. I think of them each morning when I turn on the fireplace.
Oh how they loved to be warm and to cuddle each other. Carmeh on the right, taken fall of 2016.
So many many memories but for some reason this time of year seems to be the most difficult. I miss seeing Caeli asking to go out and once her head is out of the door deciding it was too cold even though the sun was shining. She would check over and over and I was happy to get up and let her out and then back in. They would often follow the sunbeams around and lay in the sun to stay warm. Carmeh never liked the cold and was the first one to find a warm spot to sleep. So often we ate ( and still do ) late dinners. Usually after a long day we would each sit in our recliners with one of the girls and catch an hour of TV as we ate. Carmeh was with Colin and Caeli was with me but when she realized that she wasn’t getting any food she took off and went to our bed for the night. Carmeh on the other hand stuck with Colin until bedtime. Their little bodies pressed close to us kept us warm. This is our busiest time of year and Colin is always gone and I am at my desk/computer. Carmeh always wanted attention and she would come to me and head butt me at the back of my knee asking asking to be played with or picked up and cuddled. I am finding this a very difficult time of year and I am often sad.
We noticed this garter snake move across our front patio next to our shed this afternoon. It reminded me of how Caeli would spend time watching for a garter snake on the rocks on the beach side patio She would then bark a special bark that would have Carmeh flying out the door to meet her. Then the hunt was on. Most of the time the snakes got away. Just seeing that wee snake today got my tear ducts flowing.
Colin took this today on his way to photograph a home in a residential area. As he had just landed from a few hours of aerial photography in a helicopter his camera was on the passenger seat. Normally his camera is in a bag in the back. He said that they were both licking each other. How very sweet. Of course their devotion to each other reminds me of our girls.
Taken last fall. I remember this glorious day and the walk we enjoyed.
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So many wonderful memories and great photos of the girls. They will always be with you.
Yes they will. Thank you George. The post last night wasn’t supposed to be about the girls, it just happened.
I am crying with you. They are such a large part of our lives and leave such a huge hole. Hugs and good memories.
You my dear friend have been through it also so I know that you know my pain. The memories will live on forever.
I have experienced and understand your pain at the reminders of the girls and I’m so sorry. However, I’m happy that you have your memories, so many memories of good times with the little girls. Such love as you have to give, deserves to have a recipient, have you thought of finding another little body that would love and deserve that love?
I have always found that when my tears of loss fell on the body of a new little friend, they lessened in time and lo and behold, the new little friend filled my day, while I remembered the good times.
Thoughts and prayers for you and Colin I think of you often.
The girls were like our children and we morn them. They can never be replaced, they had such unique personalities. It will be a long while before we can think of getting another. IF you read my post the end of August when we were in Edmonton, it was too emotional for me to be petting another doxie. I avoid dog ads, it still is too raw. Maybe one day.
I lost my Tristan the Supercat to cancer. Thought it would take at least a year before I considered another pet. After 3 months, I couldn’t stand the lack of companionship any longer. Adopted 2 kitties, and it was a great help. A client of mine had several cats-all elderly, and clinic favorites. Poor man was a wreck after having to put three down over a short time. We thought we wouldn’t see him for a while after he lost the last cat. A few weeks later, he returned with a new group of kitties-all adopted from the shelter. We were all happy again. Old pets can never be replaced, but new pets are great therapy.
Thank you for this Gail. First we want to travel extensively and then we will see. But who knows what the future will bring.
Dogs are such good companions, Buddy is lying on my feetas I type this. When hubby is gone he is very good company. I know you two want more freedom for traveling but maybe after that you can get a new fur baby. Hugs
It is too soon to even think about getting another. First the travels and then perhaps. Meanwhile we are enjoying the memories.
I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU MISS THE GIRLS. EACH DAY SOMETHING WILL REMIND YOU OF THEIR WAYS OF APPROACHING A SITUATION. THANKFULLY YOU HAVE ALL THESE WONDERFUL PHOTOS. MOST OF US DIDN’T TAKE SO MANY AWESOME PHOTOS OF OUR DOGS. YOUR PHOTOS ENHANCE ALL YOUR WONDERFUL MEMORIES AND TEARS WILL FALL FOR MANY YEARS. YOU CAN NEVER REPLACE THE GIRLS, JUST AS YOU CAN NEVER REPLACE A CHILD WHO HAS BEEN LOST. ALSO, RIGHT NOW THERE IS SO MUCH OTHER SADNESS GOING ON WHICH I THINK MAKES US MORE VULNERABLE TO OUR PERSONAL SADNESS. IT’S ALWAYS OKAY TO CRY. HUGS TO YOU BOTH.
Yes we have thousands of photos. We took photos of them most days as they were so sweet. Thanks for understanding that they can’t be replaced. Appreciate the hugs. Look forward to seeing you next month in LHC.
Special memories. It’s a challenge, the first year… The beach at the isla will be another one, without the girls. Be well, and remember the good times.
I am already dreading that first week and that first walk on the beach.
Can’t imagine the pain of losing both girls! Memories and photo’s to remember ! Hugs!
Thanks for the hugs Susie. So glad I got to hug Sara last year on our way south.
Great Blog Contessa…
I never met your girls… But I miss them too.
Cheers…
Paul.
Aww thank you Paul. The power of words and photography.