Some of you already know about what happened. This is the first free moment I have to share this news with the majority of you. Even family has no idea what has transpired. We have been living in crisis with beyond extreme stress since the event.
It was about 10:30PM Monday, April 28th and we were looking at our back to back computers and about to get ready to go to bed. I could not see him, just hear him. Colin’s computer mouse fell on the floor, he bent down to pick it up and then again a moment later when it fell again. He fell out of the chair onto the floor the third time. I got up to see what was happening. He appeared stunned. ” I think I just had a stroke, he said” I thought he was joking around. He wasn’t. Colin’s entire right side was paralyzed.
That started a flurry of phone calls to our doctor here who would not come because at that time of nite it was not safe in his opinion to drive here to the Isla. Finally we made a decision. I called a few people knowing I would need strong men to carry Colin and one fellow brought his car. Colin was manhandled into the car, onto the lancha ( 24 hour emergency ) and into a waiting ambulance ( you call simply call 911 which I did not know about ). He was taken to the General Mazatlan Hospital. We have no medical insurance and FYI our Canadian medial insurance ran out two days later. A year ago we had been advised to used this hospital should the need arise.
I had no idea how far it was – took me about 50 -60 minutes door to door each time I went. A very basic hospital but with great doctors. The biggest downfall is that it is Spanish speaking. A huge reminder that the onus is on us to learn the language of the country we are living in. The hospital provides a sheet over the mattress and a thin sheet to cover the patient. No pillow and no heavy blanket to stay warm in the constant air conditioning. And no water. Great meals. Lots of nursing staff. Within one day I figured out the system and a friend brought the much needed pillow and heavy fleece blanket. Someone needs to be with the patient 24 hours per day. When medication is needed the medical staff hand you a piece of paper with whatever is required and you have to go outside to the front of the hospital where a man on a moto ( motorcycle ) goes to the pharmacy ( no restaurants, no stores, nothing is close to the hospital ) and comes back in about 15 minutes with the medication or needles or whatever.
Colin was at the hospital by midnight but was frail with low vital signs. They did a brain scan which confirmed the stroke. However he was too weak to receive that life saving stroke drug which diminishes the side effects of a cerebral infarction. They were worried that his brain would bleed out and he would die.
I did not go that first night, I was in shock and couldn’t speak Spanish anyway. He had two wonderful people with him who kept reporting back to me. I never slept for three nights and I don’t think I ate for about 4 days. While he was in emergency being assessed I was online researching. I sent messages out to Octavio, the physiotherapist I used back in 2020 when I had meniscus surgery, started making arrangements for care for the dogs so I could head to the hospital first think in the morning and I can’t remember what all. The first three days were a blur. As aside here, Octavio came to check on Colin twice that first day to assess him and one more time after that before Colin came back here.
Our Mexican neighbor Humberto whose sister in law works at the hospital checked on Colin and got back to me. When I got there Erik the RV tech was there and one of his helpers. Humberto showed up a bit later and then spent hours taking me to all the departments in the hospital where I had to go – no idea why – my mind was spinning. And my body was breaking down. Colin has been my caregiver since last September. My mind was willing but not my body but I pushed myself. I learnt what I had to do. A few good friends I reached out to online gave advice, did further research and just kept me going. The most difficult was not knowing how to really use the iPhone re copy/paste so I spent much too much time retyping things over and over to different people. This is when my eyes started to tear and burn. I still had not picked up my new progressives ( I have since and they are useless ).
Fortunately we have Heri, Colin’s godson who is living in Guadalajara ( he is in the band that came to play at the last minute for the Kings Coronation during Carnaval ) who is on call 24/7 for translation. Except being a government hospital the medical staff refused to talk to someone outside of the hospital. I begged many times. Once or twice a day I got lucky and found someone who could speak a bit of English or were willing to use Google translate with me. Beyond frustrating.
To be clear the only thing wrong with Colin is that his right side was paralyzed. However that changed a bit in that he has developed numbness on his right side of the face. Sometimes it makes it difficult for him to talk. But overall his mind it totally clear and functioning perfectly. Just loss of movement on the right side. In his mind his life was over. No more guitar playing, no walking, no driving the RV – never mind any vehicle. His life changed in a single moment. There was nothing to live for and he wanted to die. It was an emotional time for both of us. We did get through that bit but even today he has very bad moments and days. So he slept and I ran around the hospital trying to make things work. I spent hours every day trying to find someone to spend the night with him as he could not be left alone. He is right handed and he is learning to now use his left but those first few days he needed constant help whether using a urinal or eating.
So many little problems that seemed like mountains to climb. From emergency he was put in a five bed ward in ‘internal medicine’. First morning a nurse told him to get up and to use the bathroom and I had to explain that he was paralyzed. They did don’t know. Another time a doctor came and asked how his stomach was feeling that day. This was a daily occurrence to explain that he was there becomes of a stroke and paralysis. All in Spanish!
One friend strongly encouraged me to get a neurologist to see Colin. They do not have specialists like that nor cardiologists in this hospital. However on the Wednesday morning I went in and insisted on Colin seeing a neurologist. No they said. I found a sympathetic doctor ( Dr. O ) who had a bit of English and brought in a personal friend of his. I paid well for this visit. He was there within 40 minutes. We were unable to get a cardiologist to come in. The neurologist did a very thorough bedside test and immediately ordered three tests. We tried ever so hard to get him sent by ambulance to get an MRI but all the medical MRI machines in Mazatlan were occupied even though I was willing to pay more than double. Eventually the doctor said it was not worth it as the time to try the special medicine was definitely beyond the point of even a chance of it helping.
One was a carotid artery test and this is where he believes that the stroke came from. The special bloodwork was done but the second brain scan was delayed 48 hours. Personally I think it was because this hospital required a certain amount of time between scans.
So the brain scan happened about 5PM Friday May 2nd. I later discovered that my private neurologist and Dr. O consulted with 5 minutes after the scan and agreed on the medication ongoing. Suddenly Colin was discharged. I won’t go into all of that nightmare but we did get him back here to the RV by 9:45PM. Thanks to those who lifted Colin out of the car and into the RV. And then they left.
Now it was up to me with Colin’s help to get him started on his new path forward in life. Octavio came Saturday to check on him. Official physio started Monday the 5th and he is getting it 6 days per week. Fortunately we had purchased a set of two attached electronic recliners and this is where he has been day and night. But he does get to see the ocean and the activity.
We have had extreme challenges just before the stroke re discovering that all batteries in the new to us RV were faulty. In fact we did not even have starter batteries. And that explains all of our electrical issues over the past months. I was able to order 8 new batteries – the last of them until August due to a shortage or ??? One day in the middle of all of this at the hospital I got a text asking to be paid immediately for shipping ( and of course they upped that price ). Another good friend from out of nowhere offered to pay the bill no questions asked. She has since been repaid. That was another problem as our bank had locked us out for not doing online banking. Colin would just go in as needed in person. So with 7 minutes notice one night the batteries were delivered. Well 7 out of the 8 were delivered. That one battery is still traveling around Mexico – but it has now been found and somehow will get back here. Once it is here we can move our RV as needed.
Our Canadian insurance expired two days after the stroke. We are allowed to be out of country only 7 months before starting again with a three month wait. Yes we can be out of Canada for up to 18 months once every 5 years or so but you can only start in January or some silly thing like that. I could have hired a driver to take us back to Canada but we are comfortable here. No sense flying back as everything we own is in this RV.
So here we sit overlooking the beach and the wonderful waves at this tine of year. Likely we will have to move in a month. It was suggested that we do because of hurricane season. We will be flooded even high up where we sit. Our pre stroke plan was to stay put until we could not take the heat. Then we would head to the Lake Chapala area for the summer. Well the heat is here – I can’t imagine it getting any worse. But we know it will. Our electricity is very iffy and almost impossible to regulate. Of course we need to stay in the area re medical help, physio and closeness to the hospital.
So we likely will relocate within a month to Las Jaibas. We have been given permission for Erik to set us up with a full 50 Amps. We will no longer have our ocean view which means so much to us but there is a swimming pool which will help with his therapy. The walk to the sandy beach is about as far as we are now. It is going to be so hot that we will like just live inside all summer and study Spanish.
Our new life path will be a day to day journey. The girls are very aware that something is wrong and take turns staying at his side. He is never alone. I just a day ago found someone to walk them to the beach at 7AM while it is cool enough and she will also make us the occasional pot of soup or a casserole meal and salad.
What comes after tomorrow. I have no idea. Right now each day is an immense challenge what with new obstacles to overcome – often several times per day.
I honestly don’t know how often I can update you all. Right now I am lucky to get a shower every three days. But I will answer any questions you send here within the comment section. I simply don’t have time to answer individually. I only just today had time since Colin has been home to review my paperwork from the hospital. And this is the first time I have had a moment to contact you all. Colin has been sleeping most of the day, he did do his physio exercises earlier. We are working on creating a new routine in our lives. One priority is sorting out the electricity. If not we will have to leave sooner.
I do have many things and photos to share with you so over the next months whether you are still here reading or not I will still post them. And knowing me I will likely post more often then not, to let you know how Colin is doing.
You are both deeply in our hearts. If our heartfelt wishes could restore Colin’s health completely, he would emerge even stronger than before the stroke.
Contessa, please remember to care for yourself too—take time to eat, rest, and recharge when needed.
Sending you all the warmest hugs.
Thank you both for being in our lives.
Contessa and Colin, I’m so sorry to read this. First of all I wish you the very best and hope Colin will recover fully. Here are my thoughts:
You only need a starter battery to drive the bus. The house bank batteries are unimportant if plugged into 50amp. Source your friends who would be willing to drive your bus to the new location.
Since your RV is not registered in Canada, you probably would not bring it home anyway. However the contents could be shipped to BC and you could move back into your home. Would it not be better be home and wait 3 months to be re enrolled to the health program? You have to decide. What if Colin has another stroke?
Wishing
Stay strong my friend, all the best.
Very thoughtful entry !
Thank you Lucy.
We need 3 starter batteries to start this RV. Between here and the USA there are no 50 AMP rv parks. Dry camping only for about 3 nights. We have a residential fridge. Our RV is registered in the USA and is perfectly legal to bring it into Canada as long as we limit our stay to 180 days. We have NO intention of returning to Canada. Why would we? Here they believe in discovering the cause of the stroke ( not waiting to see if another occurs ) so that another will not happen with proper medication, etc. We have excellent medical care which we are paying for. Still cheaper than paying the huge monthly cost for medical insurance. Colin wants to stay here in Mazatlan. The plan is to live in the RV as long as we can – hopefully on this site ( must get electrical sorted out ) and then rent something on the malecon in Mazatlan overlooking the ocean. If Colin can drive the RV then we may come to the US for a few months during the summer or just head inland to the local cool mountains for the summer. Meanwhile we are fortunate to have Erik, the RV tech, who can move us to Las Jaibas for hurricane season and then back here again in October. We will be protected from the wind and will be on high ground to avoid flooding. Here we would be buffeted by the winds and flooded for certain. So basically once Colin is able and he can direct me we will start to pack up for the season and put things in our bodega. BUT we won’t leave until a hurricane is on its way and that way get to enjoy paradise with our great vistas.
Lifting you both in prayer, for safety, for healthcare, for problem solving and decision making. Sending the biggest hugs this comment can hold.
Sandy your hugs are always so special.
I am so sorry, what a hellish time. I would suggest that you get a good neurologist and have him evaluated privately. If you don’t have a recommendation I would go to Clinica Siglo XX1 on Belisario Dominguez and ask for a referral. I’m pretty sure you have used their services and they are decent people. Also, you will need an excellent PT person, the neurologist will get you started. I think Las Jaibas is a great idea, the sooner the better to get closer to services that are going to be essential to you both. Big hugs.
I did bring in a private neurologist who right away pinpointed that the stroke came from the carotid artery. He will be consulted once all the big tests will be completed by end of May. We are using Octavio for physio who I used for my meniscus surgery back in January 2020. He is excellent. He was at the hospital within 12 hours of Colin being admitted.
Contestant. I am so sorry to hear this sad news. Sending prayers and love that Colin continues to improve. Take care of yourself. Hugs
Autocorrect. Contessa
Sending prayers for both of you during these stressful times!
Prayers are so very welcome. I know that they are helping.
Contessa and Colin. Kathy and I send our sincere prayers and best wishes for you both at this devastating time. What we want you to know is try and we know with all the problems that with a tremendous attitude and work you will survive. We relived every problem you had and still have as 28 years ago Kathy had a slightly different stroke – a hemorrhagic brain bleed stroke. She is paralyzed also on the right side. Despite all that and being unable to walk she is alive. Speech, etc is a problem. All this to say continue to be as positive as you can be for both of you and do everything you can to live your lives together. With Colin’s guitar skills perhaps trying to learn playing left hand might help his mental health- very hard but worth trying. God Bless you both.
I had no idea that Kathy was in this situation. You are both to be admired and are an inspiration.
Stay strong and steady, only time will heal.
My prayers are with your family.
Yes we need time but time is also our enemy. Physio is of the most important thing. Thank for your prayers.
I am so sorry to hear about the nightmare you have been going through. I am sending well wishes to Colin and to you, Contessa. You have way too much to handle, but you both continue to amaze me with your resilience and resourcefulness. I am confident you will come out of this very, very difficult situation and will find your way back to the life you both cherish. I am sending prayers for strength, peace, and a full recovery for Colin.
To be honest, yes much too much for me BUT I have no choice. I surprise myself. But I almost forgot to give lunch to Colin today…he tries so hard to not give me extra to do’s. Your prayers means so very much. Gracias.
Thank you for sharing all of this — This came as a total shock to us. I can’t begin to imagine the weight you’ve been carrying. The love, courage, and resilience you’ve shown in the face of such a life-changing event is deeply moving. We are holding you both in our hearts and sending strength for each step forward. You are not alone, even in the hardest moments. Please take care of yourself, too. Please let Colin know that we are thinking of him and wish him a speedy recovery. Back to full health. Hugs…
Hola you two. We are both still in shock. Cold has been home two weeks last night. Life changing is the key word.
I wish you well, you and Colin. I know your friends will surround you and help as they can in this rough time. It just doesn’t seem fair to have all these troubles rain down on you two, seemingly all at once. Know that we’re all sending you the most positive thoughts
Gracias amiga.
So sorry to hear about what you are going through. We wish Colin a speedy recovery. Take care.
It is a challenge and we are doing the best we can.
So very sorry this is happening. Will send out prayers. Take Care and God Bless
Hola Dolores. Your prayers are appreciated.
Sending our prayers for all that the both of you need.
Thank you Pauline. BTW the girls are depressed and having a hard time – they don’t; know what is happening. Love your prayers mi amiga.
Contessa and Colin, My heart is aching for you both. Your friends around you will help and they will appreciate you asking. I would offer my home here for you both but it too will be hotter than hell here soon. I do have an extra bedroom with a brand new bed and bathroom, I run my central air 24/7 and I do have a pool. My home is one story and all ceramic tiled floors so it would be easy for you both to get around as well as your girls. You both are probably feeling so lost right now. I am so deeply saddened I cannot be much help but my offer is genuine. As for typing and re-typing messages on your phone, type a text to yourself, once you typed it and sent it to yourself you can hold your finger in your text and it will take you to a screen that allows you to copy, it will allow you to paste it wherever you want. Practice will help. I have a handyman here and I send him a text with the help of Google translate and he will respond and I can translate if need be. He speaks broken English, but the translation program will help. Please remember to take care of yourself, shower, eat well because the last thing you need right now is something God forbid will happen to you. You have to remain healthy to help with Colin. If you want I can put feelers out there for friends who may have relatives near by that can help you but that has a to be your choice first. I love you both and will send as much positive energy possible from Cali. Find out where Colin stores your stuff when you leave during the summers and get that stuff moved as a first step, you need to move before hurricane season comes and when it is impossible to handle the heat. Love you both.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Oh my dear sweet friend. We go back so long ago, yet here we are for each other at this time of our lives. You are very generous to offer your home to us. We recently had “the talk” and have decided to stay here. I now have a dog walker, every second day. We had a cleaning lady come in yesterday which was great as so many have been in and out and the place is a mess especially the floor. You advice is right on about preparing now for the hurricane season. Then we can just sit back and enjoy what Mother Nature sends our way, until we have to leave. No extra stress. Hope to see you again one day…..love and hugs.
I’m so very sorry to hear this. As others have said, please take very good care of yourself. That is critical. Even though there’ll be times you don’t think you have it in you to do it all, you’ll find that yes, you do have what it takes to take care of business, whatever that may be. You are stronger than you know. Remember that fear and faith take the same amount of energy, so choose wisely which you’re going to invest in. And remember there are angels everywhere. Sending hugs and prayers for complete recovery.
How special to hear from you. I know that we have angels around us. The doctor told us that Colin should have died. Not one in his experience and studies has survived such a stroke in that part of their brain. It truly is a miracle that he is alive. Thank you for your special prayers.
I haven’t read your blog in years but read this when I saw the title of your post on Al’s sidebar. I am so sorry all that you have gone through. I cannot even fathom what it must be like. Sending positive energy your way and hope things get better. You have a lot of friends that can help when needed.
Thank you for getting in touch Steve. I think of you often. Your positive energy is gar fully accepted. Sadly today the last of our English speaking support people have left for the season. we are on our own and need to step up our use of the Spanish language.
Wishing. Olin a speedy recovery
Gracias.
Omg so sorry to hear what has happened to Colin.Hoping he recovers soon and you are able to rest.
I had a friend this past winter that had a boogie board accident and was temporarily paralyzed. He was taken from Lo De Marcos to a private hospital in Guadalajara by ambulance. . He says he got nothing but professional care,MRI and all the specialist needed. He recovered and is now 99% healed.
Not sure why you didn’t take Colin to a private hospital in Mazatlan but that would be my only recommendation to get proper care.
Hola Chuck. We did not use a private hospital in Mazatlan as we don’t have any medical health insurance and can’t afford the 60 -80 K plus charges. We had top notch service – would’ve been better If we could speak Spanish but I had translators. Couldn’t get an MRI as ALL the machines in Mazatlan were booked for 2 days straight. I offered more than double the cost at over 10K MX to get it done. But by the time we could get the MRI done it was too late for the ‘miracle stroke medication’ to be of any use.
Contessa, what a nightmare. We think we have everything under control and then the unexpected happens and we are tested. I know you’ve had health issues and Colin has been your rock. Now you’ll be his. Moving to Las Jaibas would be a good thing. There are restaurants, a pharmacy, a critical care unit just down the street, buses right out front and the beach is close by. As you know we spent many winters there. Our good friend Rafael is the park maintenance man. He speaks English and is a wonderfully kind man. I wish you strength and that Colin will make a full recovery.
We will move to Las Jaibas as explained in some answers above. Any tips would be greatly appreciated. Like the best way to get to the beach…..can the dogs run off leash on the beach there? We are fortunate that the park has given Erik the permission to give us full 50AMP which I am sure we will need over the summer. Any good take out places that deliver?
The beach road access is just a tiny bit south of the park, very handy. Yes the dogs can be off leash. You will like El Parmar right out the gate as it is primarily seafood, a favorite. Many, many restaurants deliver almost anything you want. Keep an eye on the Foodies Facebook group for suggestions and my lunch blogs show our favorites. There is a bus called the Pradera which stops at Walmart and then you can taxi or pulmonia home. The Golden Zone again easily accessible by bus, pulmonia or taxi. I know you have a car but you may not want to drive right away. Anything you need to know Rafael can help.
Where in the park would be a good idea, not wanting to get full sun in the huge front window all day. But would that give us shade on the patio. We really need any input we can get. Thanks.
I am no longer driving since just before my eye surgery so we won’t be driving anywhere.
How much does one tip when food is delivered. So the gate is locked or shut during the day. How do people get in to deliver things?
Where do you buy your fresh seafood. Once many many many years ago I purchased fish in a Walmart and it was bad. Actually I haven’t been to a Mexican Walmart in at least 8 years or more.
I marked with a thicker black line what I think is the route to the beach. Is this correct? Is it dirt or paved or gravel? Okay for a walker? About a 5 or 10 or ?? walk time.
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Guess I can’t add the photo….sorry everyone but at least Kathy has it.
I’m so very sorry to hear this , have u guys in my 🙏 prayers , Take Care and God Bless , Colin strong he will recover come back stronger then ever 💗
So lovely to hear from you both. Thank you for your prayers.
Dear Contessa, Please let us know how you and Colin are doing? I’m sure many of your readers are worried. You are both in our prayers.
How special to hear from you all the way across the great pond in the UK. I will do my best to keep you updated.
I am so sorry to hear this, will keep you both in my prayers.
Please do. Gracias.
We’re so sorry to hear about Colin’s health situation. Very shocking when we heard. Thank you for writing in great depth…..appreciate hearing the truth from you. Hate rumors!!
You must take care of yourself Contessa as you’ll be no good to Colin. Prayers and hugs to you both! You’re braver than us…..we’d be back to Canada in a heart beat! Your hearts are in Mexico…..good for you!! 😎🙏🏻🤗